Kate Garraway's husband Derek's final words as he thought he was about to die. Ice caps, 48. Amazon.com: Pundamentalist: 1,000 jokes you probably haven't heard before eBook : Delaney, Gary: Kindle Store I mean, obviously, they don't know that yet. At the Apollo. What did Cinderella say when her photos didnt arrive? One of the most sought after joke writers in the country and longstanding Mock the Week special guest, Gary has been through the laughing glass and he's ready to bring you a brand new show with hit after hit of the kind of one-liners only a master . Read more: Foals and Supergrass hit home turf for only Oxfordshire festival appearances, Experiment in good rooms, edit in hard rooms. 5. The comedian's hilarious list of funnies is guaranteed to bring a bit of festive cheer to your day. The ghost of Christmas passed, 44. One-Liner Jokes. Emergency services raced to Leith Walk around 9.30am after a 50-year-old man was attacked outside a former Cash Converters. 5. Obviously it wasnt called that, it was advertised as a School Reunion. I owe so much money to my herb seller that hes threatened to send round the bay leafs. gary delaney 9 minutes of one liners. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. CCTV captured the horrifying incident in full and graphic detail. Gary Delaney - "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic . Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), View fivethingstodotodays profile on Facebook. has been through the laughing glass and he's ready to bring you a brand new show with hit after hit of the kind of one-liners only a master could craft. Dark one liners from the brilliant Gary Delaney!#j oke # j okes # d arkhumour # o neliners # c omedy # s tandupcomedy # g arydelaney # f unny # f unnyvideos # f y # f ypage # f yp. Hes not dead, just very condescending. Jack Whitehall, Im so ugly, my father carries around the picture of the kid that came with his wallet. Rodney Dangerfield, I said to the gym instructor: Can you teach me to do the splits? He said: How flexible are you? I said: I cant make Tuesdays. Tim Vine, I like the Pope. Carson Can't Keep Up with Rodney Dangerfield's. - Michael McIntyre. A pat on the head, 20. 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes Liberty Hall, Dublin. special k one mo chance birthday. Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo Just nine minutes of solid gold one liners from Gary Delaney! | By BBC Comedy If you have a complaint about the editorial content which relates to Ive just bought Spider-Man pyjamas. Something went wrong, please try again later. The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex tape. Read more: Pop heartthrob to headline Cornbury Festival, The poobags is a noun, but Poobags is a proper noun, so now it sounds like someones name or nickname. We couldnt afford a dog. Gary Delaney, You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. | By BBC Comedy At least we know it's coming. Theres no smut or bad language, just a lot of funny jokes and pun-tastic one-liners. 6. Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners This morning I made a Belgian waffle, in the afternoon I made a Frenchman talk rubbish. . COLLABRO RETURNS TO LONDON WITH A BRAND-NEW CONCERT TOUR THIS CHRISTMAS! His tour dates regularly sell out. Nine Minutes of One-liners: Gary Delaney's hilarious first Live at the Apollo appearance. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Scots cop who snared World's End serial killer demands justice for other victims. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily.'" To be fair, they do have a point though.. She also had a stint working for Scottish Opera and even met Queen Elizabeth II. United Kingdom garydelaney.com Born April 16 Joined March 2009 2,290 Following 115.3K Followers Tweets Tweets & replies Media Likes Pinned Tweet Thug punches pair in savage unprovoked night-time attack on Glasgow street. By riding an icicle, 43. The barman says, Sorry we dont serve food in here. Peter Kay, I just bought underwater headphones and its made me loads faster. TikTok is introducing a 60-minute screen time limit which will automatically apply to all accounts owned by under-18s. Hot Water Comedy All Stars is now on a UK tour coming to a city near you - linktr.ee/hotwatercomedyallstarsBecome a YouTube member to access all live streams. Tape every gig and listen back to it. But my husband wouldnt let me.RiaLina, Money cant buy you happiness? Nine Minutes of One-liners: Gary Delaney's hilarious first Live at the Apollo appearance. stained bathroom floor. So far Ive finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. fb.watch slim63 3:07. 25 theres no-el, 13. Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo | The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. Gary, Indiana: Gary is a city in Lake County, Indiana, United States, 25 miles (40 km) from downtown Chicago, Illinois . I did a 25 minute set of 105 jokes and it went well.My fourth tour 'Gary In Punderland' starts this Summer (to allow time for vaccine rollout) and will continue throughout 2022 and, if it sells like the last tour, well into 2023. Were no good at naming things in our house Ed Byrne, I wasnt particularly close to my dad before he died which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine Olaf Falafel, Whenever someone says, I dont believe in coincidences. I say, Oh my God, me neither! Alasdair Beckett-King, A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a mens singles event Angela Barnes, As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer Adele Cliff, For me dying is a lot like going camping. Thats 20 cows' Jake Lambert, A thesaurus is great. . Gary Delaney is currently on his UK Gary in Punderland tour. 5 letter words with 1 vowel in the middle; main street radiology cpt codes 2021; jason hildebrandt narrator; . gary delaney 9 minutes one liners. 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. What lies at the bottom of the sea shivering? [1] Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. Peter Kay, Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously hasnt tried nailing jelly to a tree. John Candy, 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners, Shes great, my Nan. Tinsillitis, 7. We couldn't afford a dog." fb.watch slim63 Never surrender. We couldn't afford a dog." 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners 10 Minutes Of Funny One-Liners - Mitch Hedberg, Steven. 17. . With a 'colder than average' start to March, a Scots charity has launched a hub offering warm clothing to those in need. Whoever they are, I hope theyre happy Richard Stott, Whats driving Brexit? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal. Paul F Taylor, This show is about perception and perspective. I remember one time, I went to the zoo and saw an elephant. Dont get drunk or stoned. And its not like it was hard to find. Ed Byrne, A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Gary Delaney (born 16 April 1973) is an English writer and stand-up comedian. square head didnt know. 2021 - F&M Biochemic Alternative Medicine, true life series rigid core waterproof flooring stone mountain beige, winnerwell nomad wood burning camping stove size s, government policies that promote economic growth, Sullivan County Nh Grand Jury Indictments, How Many Servings In A 9x13 Pan Of Brownies. Adults should be doing a certain amount of physical activity every week, but you don't have to be strict to see health improvements. Ive got the memory of an elephant; I remember one-time I went to the zoo and I saw an elephant. Editors' Code of Practice. 15 of Gary Delaney's funniest one-liners | Live At. scotty t one liners. One said: Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah.The other replied: Well, put some cold in it then. Harry Hill, Owls havent got necks, have they? But he hesitated Andy Field, Combine Harvesters. I went thats me, and he went no, youre that mad bloke off the telly! Lee Mack, 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips, You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. The anonymous man was flying to a work conference with his boss with an airline he uses a lot and was offered a first class seat. 45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay ? Get ready to dive into a rabbit hole of the best jokes in the world - star of Live at the Apollo and sell-out sensation Gary Delaney is back! Soyseems to be the hardest word.Phil Nicol, Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse but enough about Kanye WestStewart Francis, Surely every car is a people carrier?Adam Hess, Whats the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? I grew up on Angel Delight! Jokes tweeted aren't in the live shows. Ex-Wetherspoons worker shares the dishes he 'never ate' - and would 'always avoid'. *. See? Get ready to dive into a rabbit hole of the best jokes in the world - star of Live at the Apollo and sell-out sensation Gary Delaney is back! I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play. Jo Brand, 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners, I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? 20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes New tour Gary in Punderland on sale, new dates added. snappy one liners. Gary Delaney. My girlfriend's dog died and to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. Music Is A Weapon | Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In | George. I shouted Stop! but if anything that made it worse. Gary Delaney "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. So I can tell by the headline that Subby is a fan of Gary Delaney? A regular at clubs including The Comedy S DISCOVER LOGIN He had such great confidence as he stood there on stage - hand in pocket just rattling these brilliant jokes off - but more importantly Delaney had a great little . The other day, a woman described me as a bit of a looker. Why do birds fly south in winter? Performing. Posted by 5thingstodotoday on 19/03/2022 in 5 Things To Do Today | Leave a comment. Scots shopping centre offers 'pay what you can' hub for winter essentials ahead of cold snap. I can write jokes I just choose not to. Stewart Lee, Conjunctivitis.com theres a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine, Exit signs? I was disappointed to find that Dunkirk wasn't actually a biography of William Shatner. From Hazel Gowland of Allergy Action: From Top Ten Jokes at Edinburgh Fringe - No.5 Gary Delaney "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.". 0:58. 3.8K Likes, 34 Comments. A hack for creating more space in the dishwasher has left people on social media were gobsmacked. But you teach a man to fish - saved yourself a fish haven't you?" - Lee Mack "Crime in multi-storey car parks. With appearances on Mock the Week and One Night Stand now under his belt, the X-rated Tim Vine, Gary Delaney is touring his 2010 Fringe show now, he admits, that people are likely to turn up. The pharmacist, confused, checks to be sure, fails to find anything, - then asks for the ordinance. 0. 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners 49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? Gary Delaney. arabians gen2. Gary Delaney Verified account @GaryDelaney. I mean my anxiety is through the roof but record times. Felicity Ward, 100 of the best ever jokes and one-liners from the Edinburgh Fringe, I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. #reaction #comedy #standupcomedy Original Video: Gary Delaney | Ruthless One Linershttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIuEWlHcecA&t=6sSupport the Channel: https. As always you can unsubscribe at any time. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? how to make three monitors in minecraft. There is a strike in London on the tubes and the headline was '24 hour strike' which was one of the few number based headlines I saw. "I bought myself some glasses. No, she says shed rather have it in a cup. Eric Morecambe, My granddad always said never judge a book by its cover. day in the life katylee. what to do when he breaks your heart. I thought it was quite a clever title, but quite a few times Ive turned up at venues and seen that my posters have been have graffitied to say Ginsters Paradise instead. A 6 year old refuses to eat anything other than alphabetty spaghetti. The master of the one-liner will present 'Gary in Punderland' at the Pyramid centre on . Tour: Gary Delaney.com Twitter@GaryDelaney Facebook/Tik-tok/Instagram @GaryDelaneyComedian This is a version of my first Live at the Apollo that the BBC used on their social media. Its not my fault, its a condition. inaccuracy or intrusion, then please I spent this morning swanning around the town centre, I hissed at people and broke a mans arm. Honestly its madness gone politically correct. I've written ten minutes of one-liners every week since the end of April so I've plenty to test when comedy returns. Define one-liner. A nervous wreck, 10. Who is Santas favourite singer? new york rat costume man. 50. Youll progress.. "Hard to tell if . AoratiMelani said: , , ( . Replace your weakest material with better new stuff its an ongoing process. So we stopped playing chess. Matt Kirshen, Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesnt try it on. Billy Connolly, I like the Ten Commandments, but theres a problem with the ninth one. Get ready to dive into a rabbit hole of the best jokes in the world - star of Live at the Apollo and sell-out sensation Gary Delaney is back! More Funniest Jokes And One-Liners. What athlete is warmest in winter? Due to phenomenal demand, the comedian will return to The Tivoli. Here are 110 of the best clean jokes from comedians young and old. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. TV shows like Mock and Apollo are fun, but most comics, if theyre being honest, will say that TV is something you do to sell your tour tickets. On the dark side, 47. More. Duration: 140 minutes. What did the farmer get for Christmas? vegitables hidden for kids. *. 25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darling Theyre on the way out! Tim Vine, I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. When I was a baby he said, Is this a joke? Ken Dodd, I went down the local supermarket. There have, however, been some unlucky losers. Most one-liners are reverse engineered, and start with something you hear. 2022-03-22 2:22:18 PM +1 Subby. The President of France said this week that English speakers were arrogant in their refusal to learn other languages, at least I think thats what he said. There are so many kings of the one-liner nowadays that its all got a bit Game of Thrones, he says. 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes But he wasnt involved in the fighting. Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo View Transcript My grief counselor died recently but Luckily, he was so good. - Gary Delaney "You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. one-millionths . Im just gonna keep moving house till I find her Lew Fitz, I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the brella. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? I recently took my naval exams. ' Alan Carr, The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing somebodys cast. Demetri Martin, I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldnt find any. Tommy Cooper, My wife its difficult to say what she does. It should be: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours ox except in Scrabble. David ODoherty, How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth? Ross Noble, I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. We didnt have anything in the house if it wasnt neon! Dylan Moran, Looking at my face is like reading in the car. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Comedian Gary Delaney has announced a second Warrington show as part of his new tour due to popular demand. The tensest crowd Ive ever seen was at the funeral of the man who invented the Jack-in-the-box. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said Parking Fine. So that was nice. Tim Vine, Money cant buy you happiness? Okay guys, this is epic. It was recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo on 6th September 2017. Wrap, 35. Gary is widely regarded as being the most quotable one-liner comic in the country. On Mock we used to record nearly three hours and people only ever saw the best bits. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? Originally Published: 10.7.2019. bed being made by itself. First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Ages 16+ professional woman on the go. 25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes I was in a fancy lingerie shop and I said are these knickers satin, they said no theyre new. Last edited: 23 Jun 2021. John Bishop: "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on . No, he was self-taught, 9. A Christmas quacker, 3. It's got 1000 jokes in it, none of which are in Gary In Punderland. The guy who invented the other three? 12. The study of why triangular sandwiches taste better is known as trigonom-nom-nomnometry. He gives them the sack, 40. 10 kids grocery shopping. This is a version of my first Live at the Apollo that the BBC used on their social media. Did Rudolph go to school? Gary with fellow comic wife Sarah Millican 2022-03-22 2:20:21 PM . Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? The other day, a woman described me as a bit of a looker. BBC Comedy - Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo Log In I hate necks.". Get yourself in the mood for the worlds largest comedy festival returning with these priceless jokes and one-liners that failed to win the coveted crown. [Lock down Special] 101 Funny One Liners. One of the most sought after joke writers in the country and longstanding Mock the Week special guest, Gary has been through the laughing glass and he's ready to bring you a brand new show with hit after hit of the kind of one-liners only a master could . Please report any comments that break our rules. I bought my nephew a caterpillar cake without checking the best before date, so now hes got a butterfly cake. His gags often appear on Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe lists; in fact he's the only comedian to ever. 25 Funny One-Liners. 3.8K Likes, 34 Comments. My French pen friend just said Le Monde, which means the world to me. 6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents . Doors Open: 19:00. The Met Office said next week will start with the coldest day of the year so far with temperatures dropping to near freezing in northern parts of the UK. Early life [ edit] Gary Delaney received a degree in Economics from the London School of Economics, owing to his childhood desire to be a bond trader. sick hamilton. . The stand-ups I admire the most are all gag-men, people who could write a really good short funny joke, he says. 3:07. | By BBC Comedy All Bundy; Al Bundy; Peggy Bundy; Kelly Bundy; Bud Bundy; Marcy D'arcy; Jefferson D'arcy; Top 10 Latest Monthly what to do for skincare night. 20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes Its all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick. Andrew Lawrence, A man walks into a chemists and says: Can I have a bar of soap, please? The chemist says: Do you want it scented? And the man says: No, Ill take it with me now. Ronnie Barker, Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my doors always open. Paul F. Taylor, People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves. Abi Roberts, I always take my wife morning tea in my pyjamas. Can you smell carrots?, 17. Gary Delaney one-liners in Brighton 2016 from my. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock The Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. I was the only thing between H and JK. Simon Evans, Im entering the worlds tightest hat competition. It takes so much effort to get an hour together of tightly written one-liners and Gary always delivers." 2. 25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley She was wearing massive gloves. Alun Cochrane, My Dad used to say fight fire with fire. Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. Harry Hill, The guy who invented the wheel was an idiot. One trans-Atlantic flight later, the husband turns up at the pharmacy and asks for tri-anathol. Army Jokes One Liners Army Jokes One Liners Information Videos . 3 minutes of one liners by gary delaney. 70.4K Likes, 392 Comments. Doctor Who - Best One-Liners Take II. 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 10:14. 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners Antonio Colak set Rangers challenge as Beale wants 'best player' from Kilmarnock win to push Morelos all the way. Oddly enough it's feminists, One of the UK's smallest towns has an award-winning pub and England's oldest fishing society, Where to get Greatest Hits Radio on FM and DAB and when Ken Bruce starts, The golden health rules GPs live by, including why you should ditch your weekend lie-ins, The Government delay of the Pensions Dashboard may well cost you tens of thousands of pounds, 'The man is a narcissist': Tories despair as 'bully' Boris Johnson threatens Sunak's new start, Government WhatsApp decision-making threatens 'accountability', warns Information Commissioner, David Attenborough reportedly giving up on-location filming for documentaries after new series, Prince Harry says smoking marijuana 'helped him mentally' in live TV interview, Government set to introduce new powers to crack down on small boat crossings next week, Do not sell or share my personal information. He was the only one with drumsticks, 37. Comments have been closed on this article. Gary Delaney. Its like a normal hotel, only in reception theres a picture of a pebble. Rhod Gilbert, My Dad always knew I was going to be a comedian. | By BBC Comedy Facebook Log In Watch Home Live Shows Explore More Home Live Shows Explore Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo Like Comment Share 217K 25K comments 51M views Starts: 20:00. scarletttemma. Lets pretend they only actually work for 24 minutes when they work from home. A man ran up to me shouting, Big hole in the ground full of water, big hole in the ground full of water, but at least he means well. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? First 2 tours now on YouTube. I said, Yes, of course. Doctor spends a few minutes examining husband, and the wife's dossier. . A mince spy (below left) 2. Just hope I can pull it off. William Andrews, Why are they calling it Brexit when they could be calling it The Great British Break Off? Alex Edelman, Words cant express how much I hate World Emoji Day. Christian Talbot, Someone stole my antidepressants. 25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes Comedian Gary Delaney presents Gagster's Paradise in a fun-filled laughter show that doesn't feature the US rapper Coolio. Fishing One Liners It doesn't happen often, but now and again we'll come across a fishing joke that we can't stop thinking about. I got seven Cs. Riveting! Stewart Francis, The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt n pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. song that gets water out your speaker. 9:07. Its too far to walk, 6. I thought: This could be interesting. Navy I_m On A Boat - funny one liner jokes. One time there was a fire at a voodoo doll factory and 10,000 people died. He is known for delivering them in a slightly deadpan manner. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver shared top tips for cooking the 'perfect' roast potatoes. Its two-tyred, 18. Razor sharp; TV star and Twitter genius comes to city. The worst thing about living next door to MC Hammer is the constant DIY noise. With Dara O Briain, Hugh Dennis, Andy Parsons, Chris Addison. Why was the turkey in a band? Copy link to Tweet; Embed Tweet; Replying to @katy_tingley . First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Not so long ago the former kids television presenter was forced to deny he was Banksy. Mock The Week Compilation by Gary Delaney - all 18 Wheel of news sets 1.421.350 views 2 years ago. stop right now yandere. "Normally you have news, weather and travel. Write every day. This website and associated newspapers adhere to the Independent Press Standards Organisation's 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners Say what you like about waiters, but I think they bring a lot to the table. It's kind of weird seeing r/jokes posts for the next 6 months condensed down in to a single 9 minute video. "I had a survey done on my house. Gary Delaney 48K subscribers Subscribe 699K views 2 years ago EVENTIM APOLLO Tour: Gary. . 20 of Malcolm Tuckers most cutting insults Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.Gary Delaney, I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex tape. He was camping in a nearby field and popped over to complain about the noise. Rob Brydon, So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, Thats a turtle disaster. Peter Kay, I love Snapchat. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers? Do the right thing, even when no one is watching . contact IPSO here, 2001-2023. Hero Images/Getty Images. Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right. How did Santa feel when he got stuck in a chimney? Lanterns lit in memory of tragic Scots girl, 5, seen from plane by family flying home. Man collapses and dies outside Edinburgh shop after 'taking unwell in street'. Selling doors, door-to-door. Bill Bailey, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. I listen to people talking and how they use language, he says. Description: Back to the Civic due to poplar demand. 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes Joke book 'Pundamentalist' out too. gary delaney parkinson joke. The Inbetweeners star Greg Davies, veteran stand-up Jo Caulfield, and one-liner specialist Gary Delaney join host Dara O'Briain and regulars Chris Addison, Hugh Dennis and Andy Parsons. He never reads any of mine. Spike Milligan, The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, Aah, Ive used too much! Andrew Bird, I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Nick Helm, A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Time to get a new fence, 24. Really watch comics whove just done better than you to the same audience. Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden.